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What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference
by holding the chain saw very still.
It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.
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How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense
of taste.
Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes!
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How do you know when a trombone player is at your door?
The doorbell drags.
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What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but
doesn't.
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What do you call a trombonist with a beeper and a cellular
telephone?
A optimist.
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What is the diffference between a dead trombone player lying in
the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?
The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
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How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
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How do you know when there's a trombonist at your door?
His hat says "Domino's Pizza"
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How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
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What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs?
"Year-At-A-Glance."
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How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a
trombonist?
He doesn't know how to use the slide, and he
can't swing.
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What is the dynamic range of the bass trombone?
On or off.
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It is difficult to trust anyone whose instrument changes shape as
he plays it!
Any other jokes? Send them.
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